Behind blue eyes
by SelinaMundane
Summary: Alec hates Clary. At least she thought so, until he comes to her place and things don't go as planned. AlecxClary
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - I don't dislike you, mundane.

Clary sat alone on her bed in her room in Amatis' house and surfed the internet. Simon was amazing, he wasn't only her best friend, but also a genius. Here in Idris technique usually doesn't work for a reason Clary forgot, but somehow he got her old lappy to work. It was now 01:00 am. Amatis was out with Luke, to sort out things and try to forget what had happened in the past. She smiled to herself by the thought of having an 'aunt'. Even though Luke wasn't her real father, she still saw him as her dad and Amatis was just like him, only a bit more stubborn.

Clary was about to watch a Parody of Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball", when she heard a noise, followed by another one. She looked up, but couldn't figure out where it came from. As she heard it the next time, she knew what it was. It was the sound of pebbles being tossed against her window. Immediately she jumped up from the big old wooden bed and pulled the light pink Top over her grey sweats down to her thighs and hurried to the window. As she opened it, she hoped not to get hit by one of the stones. "Jace, what are you doing here at this time of... Huh?", she couldn't hide the surprised tone in her voice as she saw the one standing down in the dark alley:

Dark hair, like the night sky over Brooklyn. Eyes as blue as Lake Lyn. The Runes on the young Nephilim's arms were pure black and fresh, a sign of Danger coming closer. It was no one else than Alec Lightwood."Alec?!", she must be dreaming "What are you doing here? If you're looking for Jace he isn't here.""That's not the reason why I'm here.", he said."Magnus isn't here either. The same goes for Isabelle and everyone else you could be looking for."He suddenly seemed amused about her behaviour and smiled slightly "Clary," he began calmly, but somehow his voice shook uncontrollably "I'm here because I wanted to talk to you."  
_

The teenage girl backed away, as the dark headed quickly climbed up the wall of the house and came through the window. There was no sign of exhaustion on his face, as if climbing up a blank wall with your bare hands would be an everyday thing, Clary thought as she sat down on the edge of her bed and stared at him."Is there something on my face?", he asked after a minute, returning her strange shook her head "What was it you wanted to talk to me about?"He suddenly seemed to remember the reason he came here for and a sad smile crept onto his pale face "Listen, I know this sounds weird but... It felt like you were the right person to talk to this about. I-""It kind of sounds like something important, sit down if you want to. I don't feel comfortable with you walking up and down in front of me. I can't concentrate."  
Alec smiled and nodded.

Clary didn't see his friendly face too often, as she always had had the feeling, that the young shadow hunter hated her. Now he was sitting right next to her and folded his arms in front of his chest. And she could tell by his shaking voice and sad smile, that something must be wrong."Now," she took a deep breath and leaned back against one of her pillows "What's on your mind?"He sighed and ran a hand through his hair "I keep on thinking about Max, all day long I see his face right before me and think about how I should have been there. I should have protected him.", something made his eyes turn slightly red, Clary noticed, was he holding back tears? "Alec, I know how you feel. I miss him, too. But Max wouldn't want to see his big brother like this. He would want to see you fight and-""Clary, I'm the one who should've died instead of him!", he shouted as a single tear made it's way over his cheek, but he quickly wiped it away with his hand.

For a while, an awkward silence filled the air. Clary was both, shocked and speechless. There he was, the usually cold Alec, depressed and broken next to her. She had never seen him this way and she couldn't help it as she put a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. "No, please," she whispered "Don't say such things.""Why not? Every day we wait for the next attack of Valentine's army and who will be the next one to die? Day by day there are our people dying. Warriors but also innocent children like Max. I don't want to see any more of my friends lying on the ground without any heartbeat left.""Who do you even think you are?!", Clary suddenly yelled and pulled back her hand, as Alec looked at her surprised "Do you think you're the only one who has lost someone?! Do you think killing yourself would be a solution to people's deaths?! No! You would just be selfish and escape this battle, you would let down all of your kind and you would hurt the feelings of those who love you! Think about Maryse and Robert? What would they do if they would lose another child? Isabelle would hate you and Jace would be disappointed to death. Alec, no matter how bitter everything seems, there are still things that are worth fighting for!"

"Clary...", he murmured quietly and looked straight into her eyes, which had the same colour as the Hudson River.

"If you needed a therapist, why the hell did you come to me? You hate me, don't you?", she suddenly burst out and glared at him. Somehow, what he said made her kept quiet for a moment and looked at her carefully before he sighed and ran a hand through his hair "I-I'm not sure myself. I was walking through the city and somehow always ended up here.""So you do hate me?", she mumbled."Tsk..", he suddenly laughed obviously amused about what she kept asking "How could someone possibly hate you?""Huh?", her eyes widened as she sat straight up and frowned "Does that mean you don't hate me?""I better get going before Mum freaks out...", he suddenly jumped up and rushed to the open window, faster than his own shadow "Goodnight Clary, thanks for listening to me."

"Wait!", She ran over to him and grabbed his arm as he was already half out of the window "Does that mean...you really don't hate me? You actually like me?"He turned to her and smiled "Let's say, I don't dislike you, little mundane."Suddenly his pale face drew closer and after a slight contact, he backed away and disappeared through the window. "I-I'm not a mundane!", Clary spoke quietly to herself, realising that Alec, Alec Lightwood, had just kissed her cheek. She touched her cheek with her fingers. This didn't just happen in her imagination, did it?


	2. Chapter 2 - weird reactions

Chapter 2 - Weird reactions

"Oh, good morning Clary.", Isabelle opened the big old wooden door of the Penhallow's house wearing a pink pajama, while her hair was tied up in a messy bun and some of her black locks framed her pale face. Even if you didn't know them both personally, you would be able to tell that she and Alec were siblings. They had the same eyes, the same skin and hair. The only thing that was different, was Isabelle's temper. She often had mood swings and sometimes Clary just couldn't handle her.  
"Morning Izzy, may I come in?"

"Sure, the other's are still asleep though.", The obviously tired girl scratched her forehead and held the door open for Clary, who gladly walked into the big hall that separated the huge living room from the old wooden kitchen. On the inside the Penhallow's house looked like a castle, though it wasn't as big as the Institute it was still decorated in the same style. There were also some Asian sculptures and lamps which belonged to Aline Penhallow's Mother, Jia, who once ran the Institute in Peking.

"Yoohoo, Clary?", Isabelle suddenly shouted from the kitchen. "Um, sorry, did you just say something?". "I asked you if you'd like a coffee, too.", A coffee? Clary used to say 'as long as there is coffee in the world, how bad could things be', but right now she wasn't able to eat anything. Something was wrong with her today, maybe she had caught a cold or something."No thanks,", She walked to the stairs and turned back to the kitchen "I'll go to the bathroom, Kay?"

Izzy didn't reply but Clary figured it would be okay if she went there, so she walked up the fancy stairs and stepped into the long corridor with the doors to everyone's rooms. She passed the library and immediately had to think about the moment, when she caught Aline and Jace in there. Even though nothing really happened between them and at that time she still thought Jace was her brother, it still hurt.

As Clary headed back a while later, she heard noises coming from one of the rooms, and she knew to whom it belonged. Should she knock? Or should she just head back to Isabelle? There wasn't time to answer one of these questions, because in the next moment the door swung open and a stone hard person bumped into her, causing her to fall backwards onto the old Asian carpet.

"Ow..", she felt a sharp pain in her elbows and back, but as she saw the hand in front of her face, she gladly took the offer and was pulled up in the blink of an eye. "What are you doing here?", Alec glared at her with an emotionless face."Hey, what happened to 'sorry for throwing you on the ground'?" "Tsk.", he sighed to himself and let go of Clary's wrist

"So what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk about ye-"

"Shhh!", and again he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his room, then he shut the door behind him and sat down on the other side of the room. As far away from her as possible.

"Why are you acting so weird!", it broke out of her as she looked down at where he had grabbed her and noticed that he held her brutally enough that you could see his fingers on her skin.

"Listen, whatever happened yesterday, just forget about it already.", he hissed and looked away "Nothing of what I told you was the truth and about the...the.."

"Kiss?"

"Shut up, it wasn't a kiss!", he rubbed his temples "If anyone finds out about it, I'll make sure that you're the next one to move into the city of bones. Understood?"

Clary opened her mouth to say something, but nothing except for a loud breath came out. She felt like her insides were being tored apart and ripped out. She just turned around and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her. If she had been in there any longer, she would probably have killed him. So he DID still hate her! But was that so bad? Clary wanted to ask him if they could just forget about what happened, but he didn't plan on being yelled at. She hadn't kissed anyone, right? As she rushed down the stairs, she noticed something dripping down her cheeks. Had she been crying? Oh no, she couldn't let Isabelle see her like that! She quickly wiped the tears away with the sleeve of her purple pullover and tried to smile, though this forced smile must've looked pretty stupid.

Ten minutes later Izzy and her were sitting on the huge couch in the living room and both sipped from their coffees. Clary pushed the thoughts about Alec out of her head, which was difficult because most of them were about him for some reason.

"And then I said: Well, sorry for being an independent woman, you jerk. - And then I rubbed some dirt into his little faerie face and I didn't care if some Mundanes were watching.", She burst out in laughter and Clary forced herself to join her. Though she kind of felt sorry for Meliorn, he wasn't so bad. He seemed a bit shy to Clary, no wonder that he couldn't handle Isabelle's Lightwood-Temper. She definitely had that from her Mum, Clary thought and smiled.  
Suddenly they heard the door open and in the next moment, a tall and sparkly warlock with cat's eyes stood right before them. Magnus Bane."Magnus!", they both screamed and jumped grinned and ran a hand through his black hair before he sat down on the coffee table, and Isabelle looked as if she was afraid that the glass table could break under the grown man.

"I've got news for you guys.", he pulled a folded sheet of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Clary, who unfolded it quickly and read out aloud."Invitation to a garden Party?", she frowned "Magnus, why-?""I'm tired of sitting around all day, looking into all your depressed faces and waiting for Valentine's next move. So what do you say?""I don't know..", Izzy said and looked at Clary."And where-?", She asked and gave the sheet back to the warlock. Magnus smiled proudly "I have the perfect place, right behind the city there is the ruin of a castle with a huge courtyard. I already set up everything, so are you guys coming?"


	3. Chapter 3 - Preparing

Chapter 3 - Preparing

"Clary?", she heard her mum's voice from the corridor, while she was lying on her bed and staring at the ceiling. She had been in this position for 2 hours now and didn't want to move. Somehow she felt like the walls understood her feelings and confusion better than a person. "Come in!", she replied.

The door opened and Jocelyn walked in with a smile on her lips. It was the smile that Clary loved the most because she had seen the same smile since she was little and she knew, that she could trust the person with this smile unconditionally. Jocelyn made her way over to her daughter and sat down next to her "Aren't you going to Magnus' Party?", she looked at her sat up in indian style and stared at her mother "So he told you about it, too?"

"Of course! He invited all of us and even the lycanthropes and others."

"Does that mean Luke and you are going, too?"

"Maybe.", her mum said quietly "He's very busy at the moment, he's still talking to the elders. So aren't you going? I've heard Jace and the Lightwoods and your other friends are going, too."

Clary sighed and let herself fall back onto the pillows "Mum, can I tell you about something?", she covered her eyes with her hands and then rubbed her temples. Her mum nodded and reached out a hand to stroke her daughter's hair, like she always did when she noticed, that something was upsetting her.

"Yesterday something weird happened.", she began "You know Alec, right?"

"Of course, he's Maryse and Robert's son. A very polite young man.", her mum added with a bright smile, which didn't make it easier for Clary.

"Yes, well.. Uh.. No. Actually he hates me. But yesterday he came here and...wanted to talk to me about everything that was on his mind and he was being so honest and really opened up his soul."  
"Oh, I see..", her Mum said "So he does like you? That's good right?"

"No, well he...actually kissed me.", she looked at her mum "Don't look at me like that, Mum! It was just on the cheek. But when I went over to the Penhallows' place this morning I tried to talk to him and he was being a total...idiot."

There was silence for a moment, but then Jocelyn broke it "And, do you like him?"

"I don't know..", Clary sighed "But I know that I like Jace and that I shouldn't think about someone else."

"To me it sounds like you're not sure about your feelings, sweetie. But do you want me to give you some "motherly" advice?"

Clary nodded and took a deep breath."You should go to the party and try to have fun. It doesn't help if you lock yourself in your room and start a friendship with the ceiling."

That was totally her mum! She always found a way to make her smile, no matter how confused she was."But...I have one problem." Clary began "I don't have anything to wear. And the best thing about it is, that it's a theme party! It has something to do with snow."

"Let that be my problem!", a voice came from the doorway, and they both looked up to see Amatis standing there with folded arms and a smile on her lips.  
Amatis was just amazing! Half an hour later Clarissa Fray didn't even recognize herself when she was standing in front of the old mirror in Amatis' livingroom. The dress, Amatis had sewed especially for her was sleeveless and sparkling light blue. It ended at the middle of her thin thighs and the skirt of the dress had white glitter on it, which looked like real snow. Her hair fell down her back in lose beach locks and the high heels her mum had lent her looked fantastic.  
_


	4. Chapter 4 - everything has changed

hey everyone! Thank you for the reviews! :) It means a lot to me. Thank you

Cassandra Clare for making me smile over your great books.

Chapter 4 - Everything has changed

"How long are you planning on sitting here and sulking?", Alec heard Magnus' voice as if he was miles away, even though he was right beside him trying to get him to dance, but Alec would just stand there in the corner hiding from the fake snow that was falling from the air. He wasn't the type for dancing or partying and somehow he felt like something was missing. He looked over to Isabelle who seemed to be getting back with Meliorn and he smiled as he saw the weird way that the faerie knight was dancing like. "Alec, come on."

"I told you a billion times before that I don't wanna!"

The grown Warlock pouted slightly but then he sighed "Can I at least get us something to drink?"

The young Nephilim nodded and leaned back against one of the walls that were around the pretty, snow covered courtyard. He watched Magnus disappear in the crowd of dancing lycanthropes and other beings and took a deep breath. Somehow nothing felt right anymore at all. He turned his head to the side and then he saw her.

Her..Clary. His jar dropped to the floor. Was that..really her?

Her hair fell completely flawless and her whole appearance made her look like one of the magical faeries. She looked around the place while she slowly stepped into the courtyard. The fake snowflakes got caught in her hair and made her look even more flawless. "You're drooling.", a voice suddenly came from behind turned around and looked right into Jace's face who also stared at clary."What?", he asked shocked "I - I didn't...I don't know what you mean!"

"Chill, I was joking. Shouldn't you be dancing with Magnus?"

"Shouldn't you mind your own business?"

"Wow..", Jace added "Isabelle was right, you're really not in the mood today."With that, Alec watched as he walked over to Clary and they hugged and all this lovey dovey thing. His stomach seemed to be jumping and for a moment he thought he might have to puke. He was feeling so strange while he watched them dance together. In his mind he started to picture how he walked over to them, pushed Jace aside and took over his place. He pictured how he led Clary through the courtyard and away from al, this people and... No! Why was he thinking that way?! How could he? Did he like her? He asked himself that question, but answered it with a no. He didn't even like girls! Why would he be interested in Clary all out of sudden? She was his best friend's/brother's girl!

"How long are you going to keep staring at her like a lost puppy?", a calm voice asked, and Alec quickly turned around to face Lucian Graymark, leaning against the wall right next to him. He was wearing a brown shirt and dark jeans and he seemed amused about the fact that he had caught him staring at Clary like that.

"I'm not staring at anyone.", he sighed and folded his arms in front of his chest."Sure, but would you please wipe that drool off your chin."Alec's eyes widened as he quickly ran his hand over his chin, realizing that Luke was just joking and that he just completely embarrassed himself."Alec, look."

"What?"

"Do you like Clary?"

He shrugged and looked away.

"To me it's obvious you do."

"Hmm.", was all the stubborn boy said.

"The way you look at her tells me everything. I'm a lycanthrope, we are famous for our knowledge in human nature. Why don't you go and ask her for a dance like normal people would do?", as he didn't answer, Luke continued "You hear me?"

"I can hear you, Luke, but I'm not having this conversation."After a moment of silence Luke shook his head and watched, as Jace left to get some drinks. He waved at Clary to come over, without Alec noticing it. She smiled at her 'dad' and immediately walked towards him, smiling sweetly."Hey, Luke. What's up?"

Now Alec noticed and his eyes widened as he realized what he was about to do.

"This young man..", Luke said, pointing at Alec with his wine glass "Has been waiting for hours to ask you for a dance."Now Clary had noticed Alec, too. Their eyes met for a long moment and nobody dared to say a word. Alec watched how the snowflakes landed softly on her hair and her rosy cheeks and he let out a sigh as he walked towards her.

What was he doing? His body was moving without him wanting to! One second later he was standing right in front of her and looked down into her deep eyes. A small smile spread across his lips as he held out a hand and bowed deeply in an old fashioned way "Can I have this dance?"

Suddenly he remembered how he treated her the last time they had seen each other. Was she going to say no? She probably hated him was an awkward silence that filled the air. The music had stopped because the last song had ended and Alec could hear his own heartbeat as loud as the crowd of people on the dance floor.

Suddenly he felt a hand in his own and looked up at Clary's now slightly smiling face.  
He slowly led her to the middle of the courtyard and right then, the music started again. He carefully put his hands on her small hips and tried to not embarrass himself because of his strange dancing style. She smiled and put her hands around his neck. He had never been this close to her, he didn't even think that he would ever be that close to any girl that wasn't Isabelle or Maryse.

_All I knew this morning when I woke_

_Is I know something now, know something now I didn't before_

_And all I've seen since 18 hours ago is green eyes and freckles and your smile in the back of my mind making me feel like_

_I just want to know you better know you better know you better now_

Awkward, he thought this song totally described what was going on inside his head since 2 days. His insides were a complete mess! He suddenly held her tighter for some reason and felt his heart beat at an uncomfortable speed. As they turned, he noticed how Luke was grinning over at him and raised his glass, as if he was cheering.

"Alec?", he suddenly heard Clary whisper.

_I just want to know you better know you better know you_

_ Cause all I know is we said hello_

_And your eyes look like coming home_

_All I know is a simple name, everything has changed_

_All I know is you held the door_

_You'll be mine and I'll be yours_

_All I know since yesterday is everything has changed_

"Hmm?", he replied as he got pushed by someone and ended up even closer to her, so he could smell her cottoncandy perfume. What a rare scent."Do you hate me..?", she asked with a quiet voice, as if saying this sentence broke her heart on the inside. He opened his mouth to answer but didn't know how he should answer.

_And all my walls stood tall painted blue_

_But I'll take them down, take them down and open up the door for you_

_And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies the beautiful kind_

_Making up for lost time, taking flight, making me feel like_

"Follow me...", he suddenly said and grabbed her tiny hand tightly.


	5. Chapter 5 - It's like gravity

hey everyone! If you read and enjoy this, please leave a review and comment ;) - Sorry if I make any mistakes in spelling, english isn't my mother tongue, but I try my best.

Chapter 5 - It's like gravity

Alec led Clary out of the place and away from everyone else. He didn't even know where he was bringing her or why he was doing this, but he was like under a spell and his body moved without his permission. The cold breeze of the upcoming winter seemed to pierce his skin like thousands of thin needles, yet he kept on walking along the outside walls of the once incredibly beautiful building, that now looked more like a ruin.

"Okay...," Alec said "I think that's far enough."

"What do you mean?", Clary couldn't hide the nervousness in her voice.

"If you want to ask me any questions, then now would be a good time for that.", he said looking down into her sea green eyes "I want to know what you think about me."

Clary realised how close he was, and it sent shivers down her back uncontrollably, but she couldn't back away, because she could already feel the cold wall against her spine. She took a breath and prepared to let out all her thoughts, she had the last few days "Look, Alec. I don't really know what to think anymore. I thought you hated me by the way you used to treat me. You made me feel like a worthless bug that you would like to kill so it won't bother you anymore. Then, after all of this, you came to me and told me about your feelings about Max' death.", her voice seemed to crumble and she continued more silently "The way you talked to me gave me this weird comfortable feeling as if you were someone I had known my whole life."

Alec watched her carefully through his blue eyes and a small smile spread across his lips. He wanted to reach out and touch her rosy cheeks and run his fingers through her hair, but he had to keep his 'calm cool', like Isabelle would say.

"But," Clary then continued and escaped his stare to face the ground instead "Then you kissed me and... It confused me. No. It was stuck in my mind and kept me up all night. I questioned why. Why would you, the cold oh-so-cool Mr Alec Lightwood, do something like that. And why me? Those things made me more confident and gave me the feeling of wanting to know every side of you. And then, the next day, ... There he was again! The cold and silently suffering loner who wouldn't even give me the chance to have a proper conversation with him, like adults would."

Alec tried to get her to look at him again "Does that mean.."

"No, I don't hate you. Even though there were enough times I wanted to, but I just couldn't. Everytime I tell myself what a fool you are there is a voice in my head telling me that you're not. Maybe I'm crazy but sometimes..", her voice broke and she looked back at him. She noticed that he had moved even further towards her and their knees and thighs were slightly touching.

"Go on," he said. Clary thought she saw a light in his eyes, which encouraged her. "Please."

But the words wouldn't leave her lips. Maybe because she wasn't even sure yet, if that what she wanted to say was really the truth. Alec, I think I'm falling for you! - Nothing but a silent whimper escaped her red lips. Clary had that kind of lips, which didn't need make up. They were red like blood, red like Snow White's in the story, the young shadowhunter noticed.

The distance between them faded and so did his self control. He cupped her face softly with his hands and moved closer.

Was he...going to kiss her?! Clary's eyes widened as she watched him close his eyes and break the distance completely. She closed her eyes, waiting for his lips to cover hers.

But he didn't kiss her.

_Not yet_, he thought.

Instead he leaned his forehead against hers and looked her in the eyes once more. He realised that he could do this all day long and never get tired of getting lost in this pure sea of green. Alec then grabbed her hands and intertwined their fingers.

Both of them knew, how wrong this was. They both had somneone else, waiting on them inside.

Jace had been Alec's best friend since they were little. They shared everything. They even cut the hair off all of Isabelle's dolls. He was more important to him that a brother... He was his _Parabatai_. And now he was about to put all of that on the line because of the little mundane, who appeared to be a shadowhunter, too.

_And Alec_?, Clary thought. Wasn't he interested in Magnus since she knew them? Wasn't he gay? Didn't he hate her? Wasn't he as cold hearted as she thought?

All, of this didn't matter right now. "What truly matters is, what the heart wants. What the brain thinks, is worthless.", Alec whispered as his nose tip touched Clary's and he placed a kiss there the next moment. All his doubts had faded away in one second.

Clary flushed bright red and closed her eyes, as Alec placed other kisses on her forehead...or better said on her bangs. Yes, she had bangs. Why? Because Amatis tried to cut her hair once and accidentally cut off too much, so she had to get the pony haircut. However, her heart was beating at it's limits. The last thought about pushing him away from her disappeared and she remembered her favorite scene in the Breaking Dawn movie of the twilight series. When Jacob said:"It's like gravity. Your whole center shifts. Suddenly, it's not the Earth holding you here. You would do anything, be anything he needs. A friend, a sister, a lover, a protector."

The next moment she was woken up by the feeling of Alec's lips against hers. He held her hands, fingers still interwined, and pressed her against the wall. Even though she felt the cold stones agains her back and the cold grass under her feet, she felt like falling. The state she was in felt like ecstasy. Her whole body was shivering and covered in goosebumps and Alec's demanding kiss didn't make it easier for her. She was more than relieved when he wrapped his hands around her small waiste and took away the feeling of being in a free fall.

In this moment everything seemed to make sense for Alec. The reason he couldn't love Magnus the way he tried to, the reason he had never fallen for anyone... Because it was her. It has always been her. Clarissa Morgenstern. Clary.


	6. Chapter 6 - in a relationship with food

hey everyone! Thank you for the reviews! :) It means a lot to me. Thank you Cassandra Clare for making me smile over your great books.

Chapter 6 - In a relationship with food

"Clarissa Fray..", Alec gasped as he broke their kiss "I have to admit that you're officially no one whose name should be written on a bathroom wall."

Clary had to smirk, though remembering the moment he had said that to her still hurt quite a bit, but it was like all the bad emotions had been taken away. And she knew it was thanks to the butterflies in her stomach.

Just then, as Alec leaned in and brushed her lips again with his, someone behind them coughed, begging for their attention.

They both spun around in one instant and were kind of relieved that it wasn't Jace or Magnus standing there and glaring at them in disgust. No, it was luckily just Simon.

Simon, Clary looked at her best friend since years and realised that he maybe didn't cough because he wanted their attention, it looked like he coughed because what he just had seen made him want to puke. But since he's a vampire and doesn't really eat like humans do, it was pretty difficult for him. "And what are you staring at, mundane boy?"

Simon glared at Alec "I'm sorry, but if you do something like that next time, please get a room."

"Simon it's not-"

"Nobody wanted to hear your opinion, Renesmee Cullen." Alec spoke with an unemotional voice and looked straight at Simon.

Clary knew that Alec wasn't Simon's best friend, but she was still kind of shocked about his suddenly bad behaviour "Easy now, you're talking to my best friend.", she slightly hissed at him and squeezed his hand, which was still holding her's.

"Clary, would you please be as kind, as to explain me what the hell all of this is supposed to mean? Why would you kiss that...that.."

"That what?", Alec asked harshly with a death glare on his face.

If she didn't do something quickly, the situation would surely escalate.  
Within a few seconds she had freed herself from Alec's grip and hurried to Simon, then she grabbed his arm and looked back at the shadowhunter once more. He stared at her in pure confusion, but all she did was give him an encouraging smile which he returned after a moment, then she looked up at Simon, who was still completely stiff because of the sudden shock."Come on, follow me."

"But, I was on my way to the party!", he pouted as he was dragged along with her.

Clary rolled her eyes "Seriously? A moment ago you were like frozen because of what you had seen and now you're thinking about partying?"

Simon looked at her with puppy eyes "Sorry. I know," he sighed "You're more important."

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"Am I not important to you?"

"I just said you are more important?"

"But you said it sarcastically.", Clary all Simon did was laugh. A laugh that Clary couldn't live without. It's been the same since she could remember and it was the most beautiful and cheerful sound in the world.

"So let me see if I got it straight...", Simon began a while later as he was sitting on Clary's bed while she was walking in circles "Alec hated you...then he liked you...then you both went to the party...and now you're pregnant?"

"SIMON!", she exclaimed and grabbed a bunch of clothes which she had thrown onto the old couch earlier, and then she threw them right into Simon's face, who found himself covered in a Pullover and..a bra. "Okay, you need to chill.", he said "And I know what I'm going to get you for Christmas this year. This underwear looks like it's from the last century and I'm not even a fashion freak."

"Simon.."

"Seriously, that thing looks like my grandma's nightgown."

"...Simon!"

"Victoria's Secret here I come."

"GOD SIMON WOULD YOU PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO MY FEELNGS FOR A FEW SECONDS?!"

He frowned "Sorry."

"Jesus..", Clary gasped and let herself fall backwards onto the bed next to her best friend who looked down at her "I'm so confused!"

"Does Jace know?"

She shook her head and rubbed her temples "I can't tell him that I just cheated on him with his best friend, his brother ... He'll kill me."

"No, he'll kill Alec."

"Even better!", Clary sighed "Everytime I try to figure out what I really want there are both of them in my head. Uh, I just can't get Alec out of my mind but the same goes for Jace. I still think of Jace as my everything, the one I would die for. But if I had to, I would do the same for Alec.", She reached for a pillow and punched it several times "Why-does-this-have-to-happen-to-me!?", as she attempted to punch it a few more times, Simon grabbed it and pulled it away from her. "The poor pillow has suffered enough, don't you think?", he threw it aside "Enough of cushion-violence for today. Now come here..", he grabbed her hand and pulled her in a hug, and Clary buried her head in his jacket.

Though his skin was ice cold, since he turned into a vampire, she still felt completely warm and cosy.

One thing she hated about Simon was, that no matter how angry he made her or how bad she wanted to ignore him...he just walked by and hugged her and she forgot about everything. But she loved him. In a brotherly way, but she still did. Just like she loved Luke and like she kind of also loved Isabelle and the Lightwoods.

"So you're not in a relationship with him?", Simon asked after a while.

"To be honest I think the only true relationship I ever had was the one I had with that fantastic Salad I had a few days ago."

"So that's what you find tagged with #foodporn on instagram."

"Tsk...", Clary had to grin.

"And what about me?", he looked like a puppy.

"That doesn't count!"

"Then maybe a few noogies will!"

"No!", She tried to get away, but Simon had already pressed his fist to her head and started rubbing it until Clary laughed, coughed and screamed


	7. Chapter 7

hey everyone! Thank you for the reviews! :) It means a lot to me. Thank you Cassandra Clare for making me smile over your great books.

Chapter 7 - It started with a fire

Just then, Simon stopped his attack and let Clary go, who he had pulled onto his leg for the noogies, because a loud noise interrupted them.

"Your phone.", he simply said and grabbed it from the bedside table to hand it over to her. She took it into her small hands and picked up immediately as she saw, who it was.

"Clary!", Jace's voice shouted into her ear "Are you alright?!"

She sighed quietly "Sure, why?"

"You just disappeared from the party and Isabelle looked for you the whole time!", he sounded really worried.

"I-I...", she thought about a good excuse "I didn't feel too good so I went home. I didn't want you to worry or leave the party because of me, so I decided to leave alone. But I'm fine don't worry."

"Give me ten minutes.", he said "I'll come over."

"No!", she exclaimed "No need to! Simon is here and I just need some peace, you just have some fun, okay?"

There was a moment of silence until he spoke "What's wrong Clary, you know you can tell me anything. Why are you and Alec acting so weird? Did you have another fight or something?"

Clary's heart jumped at his words. He had already realised that something had been going on with them lately, he just didn't know what exactly it was.

"Don't be weird, Jace. I told you I'm alright. Now go and have fun." then she simply hung up and threw her phone against the wall and watched it crash onto the floor as tears of guilt welled up her eyes, but somehow she could suppress them by taking a deep breath.

A while later Simon had fallen asleep on her bed and she sat next to him reading an old book she had found in a shelf in Amatis' living room. The story was based on a kind of Romeo and Juliet thing, with the difference that Angels and demons were involved in this one.

Suddenly Clary's phone rang again, but she just declined and sighed, before she put the book aside and got up, then she walked out of the room and down the stairs into the living room, which was dark and she didn't even bother to turn on the lights. Instead she just headed into the kitchen and looked for a glass in the darkness because she felt pretty thirsty all out of sudden.

But just as she was about to turn on the water, she heard a strange noise from the living room. It sounded like a deep growl and it was followed by a weird and disgusting smell of something that smelled like a dead animal. Clary felt her heart beat faster in her chest as her face turned pale, because she had an idea what it could be.

Her hand reached out for the drawer next to her, which was filled with spoons and knives. She grabbed a huge one that nearly looked like a dagger, maybe it was one anyway, and slowly stepped into the darkness of the living room. She could feel that she wasn't alone. She could feel the presence of another creature in the room, and whatever it was, it wasn't friendly, Clary thought to herself as she spotted it in a corner.

That thing...it looked like the ones that had attacked Luke at his house a few months ago and it glared at Clary through burning eyes.  
In the next moment it growled again and raced towards her, ready to end her life in one instant, but she raised her arm and...

Was pushed to the ground by an immense strength, before she could stab this creature of hell. Her head hit the ground and a sharp pain crept into her body, but the dagger was still in her hand. She looked the demon right into his blood hungry face before she coughed.

"Go to hell!", she spit into his face before she raised her arm again and stabbed it. The demon screamed in pain and fell sidewards off her. Afraid that he might not be dead, Clary stabbed him again and a disgusting liquid poured out of his wounds and left puddles on the ground. Completely out of breath and half covered in the demon's blood Clary jumped backwards and let herself slide down the wall. How the hell did a thing like that get into their house?! Did Valentine already start his attack?In the same moment Simon appeared in the doorway.

"Fire!", he yelled and ran over to her, but stopped as he saw the demon's corpse next to his best friend, who stared into the emptiness while she nearly hugged the bloody dagger that had just saved her life a minute ago."Oh my god...", he whispered more to himself, than to her "Clary! We need to get out of here, quickly!"

Outside demon hordes ran over the city and half of the buildings had caught on fire and lit up the night in a dangerous light. Valentine Morgenstern, Clary's father, had started his attack.

As Simon and Clary had reached the main street, she was now wearing her shadowhunter outfit, her jar dropped by the things she saw: There were corpses of shadowhunters and even some kids lying in the corners and blood stains covered the pavements. Windows were crashed and the air was filled with the screams of both: people and demons, and the smell of ashes.

"Clary, no.", Simon grabbed her arm as she was about to bend down to the body of a little boy, which she had seen playing in the street sometimes "I don't want you to see this."

She nodded and stepped back as she watched something shapeless crawl out of a shop window right next to them."Simon...", she stepped back and pulled him along "Look."His eyes widened by the sight of another demon coming towards them, slowly but terrifying."Let's get out of here, quick!"

They ran into a side street, followed by the monster.  
"Shit!", they both shouted,

Suddenly the street ended with no way out. Dead end. The demon soon caught up with them and Simon stepped before Clary, taking the dagger out of her hands "Don't...don't worry. I got this.""Simon..."The demon suddenly grew bigger and bigger right before their eyes and sharp teeth showed up everywhere on it's body. _What by the angel was that thing?_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 - Never let go.**

"Clary!"

Someone desperately called out her name, but seemed to be far away, too far away. The sun shone down on Clary's skin and she could feel all the warmth that she had missed for the past few months. Her feet enjoyed the soft sand under her feet and she felt like she wanted to run; just run. Run away from everything.

"Clary!", someone called out again.

She turned around but couldn't see anybody. Instead she watched how the beautiful scenery of the sea began to burn down and turn into pure darkness.  
She screamed out; her voice broke because her throat was completely dried out, as the ground disappeared from beneath her feet and she started to fall.

"Clary!", another voice yelled.

"Open up your eyes please!", now she heard them clear and loud, and she could feel a sharp pain rushing through her body.

...

She opened her eyes and fought for air. Her chest rose as a wave of oxygen filled her empty lungs and then, she collapsed again. This time she was able to keep her consciousness and looked up to the sky.

Just then, two familiar faces appeared above her, both staring down at her worriedly.

She looked around and noticed, that she was lying on the ground, grass brushed against her arm, but suddenly the pain sent a wave of shivers through her body again. Where was she?

"Clary..", One of them said "You have to stay awake, you hear me?"

_Alec_.

His hand patted her cheek, trying to keep her awake. He saw that his eyes were completely red, as if he was about to break into tears. Next to him was Simon, he had nearly the same expression on his face, just that she could see another feeling in his eyes. Hunger. she soon found out why.

She was bleeding. Her shirt was soaked in her own, dark red blood. So that's where the pain came from. She felt Alec's hand in hers and somehow managed to grab a tight hold of it.

A weak smile spread across his lips as he felt it and he looked at her with bright eyes, before he turned to Simon.

"We need to bring her to the others!"

"But they are in the Accords hall, aren't they?", Simon said, his voice sounded dry.

"Yeah, but if we want her to survive, we don't have any other choice than going through all of that again."

"That would be suicide!", he exclaimed "It was luck that we made it out of the city alive, now you want to make us go through the whole town again?!"

"Do it for Clary!", his voice was sharp and seemed to make Simon shiver.

"I am doing this for Clary!", he hissed "If you want to commit suicide then go ahead! Go back into that chaos again, but without her!"

"I can't treat her wounds here! The demon ichor she has been covered in is going to slowly corrode her skin, is that what you want?"

Now Simon stopped speaking immediately.

There was a long, creepy silence between them.

Alec looked at him "You can stay here if you want to, but I won't let her die."

Simon's mouth opened but before he could say anything, Alec picked up Clary in his arms, again she felt the same pain coming from the wound on her side. Her head rested on his chest, it was warm and she could hear his heart beat. It was so loud, that she couldn't hear the rest of their conversation.

He smells like a mix of coffee and mint tea, Clary thought to herself, trying to forget about the pain that made her weaker and weaker.

She watched how the grass and hills disappeared and soon, Alec carried her onto the main street of Alicante.

There were flames coming out of some buildings. Other houses had collapsed. _It's like in a horror movie, just worse._ As Clary spotted lifeless bodies on the pavements and all the bloodstains on the ground, she decided to close her eyes and buried her face in Alec's chest once more.

"By the angel...", he spoke, more to himself "We've lost a lot of our kind tonight. But at least the demons seem to have disappeared."

His voice was shaking and weak.  
As he continued walking he kept whispering something.."...Vale."

When she closed her eyes again, she saw Jace's face followed by her mum's and Luke's. Were they alright?

The pain got stronger again and again she was about to faint. Blood dripped down her side and mixed with the bloodstains on the street. Why were they trapped in such a nightmare.

Before she passed out, she looked up at Alec and realised that he was risking his own life to try to save her. His face was extremely pale and he was sweating. He had already saved her life once this day, how did she deserve something like that?

Clary thought that everything was her fault; Max' death, Imogen's and Malik's death, the war, the danger she put Simon in, Valentine's demons hordes which destroyed the city, and she even blamed herself for when Alec nearly died because of her.

Suddenly the world around her turned black again.


End file.
